1 hour ago
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Election Day is the real Day of the Dead. Dutiful citizens rush to the polls to choose between a blood-sucking vampire and a brain-eating zombie. They do this knowing full well that each is lying about wanting to suck blood or eat brains.
Occasionally a candidate arises who honestly neither wants my blood in a glass nor my brains on a plate. However, I am repeatedly assured that such a candidate cannot win. Furthermore, if I choose such a candidate on Election Day I am wasting my precious vote and acting against the natural order. Without the vampires and the zombies civilization as we know it would cease to exist.