The Americans With No Abilities Act

Too good to pass up:

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President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

Found at "The View From Chaos Manor" by Jerry E. Pournelle

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H/T to The Libertarian Enterprise

Ammunition to avoid

I've been reading some old Internet debates on what kind of ammunition to use for self defense. In every one I've read someone brings up the argument that certain kinds of ammunition will look bad in court if you are actually required to shoot some thug. From this extensive research on the Internet (where everything is true) I have compiled the following advice.

First, do not use ammunition you loaded yourself.

If you pop a cap into some drooling goblin at 5:30 in the morning you don't want more problems in your life. A .357 Federal Hydrashok is going to splatter the bad guy's lung and heart tissue all over the far wall. It is very possible some snot nose DA or pissant Ninjacop may decide that you went a little too far in ventilating the prick. I mean he's not really responsible for being a dirtbag. Maybe his mommy didn't toilet train him right. Maybe his daddy called him names when he was a boy. You don't want to have to explain to a jury how you sit in your garage and load ammo that will splatter a bad guy's lung and heart tissue all over the far wall.

In the inevitable civil case remember that the dead goblin's mommy will be sobbing in the front row and his daddy -- if he can be found -- will testify as to how Drooler was an unfortunate victim of society and was turning his life around.

Next, avoid any ammunition with one or more of the following features:

• Hollow point (Dum dums, Cop killers)
• Soft point (Expanding, Armor Piercing)
• Wadcutter (Flesh Crushing)
• Round nose (Bone Breakers)
• Spitzer tip (Big Game Hunting Ammo)
• Lead bullets (Kills Condor Chicks)
• Any metal other than lead (Armor Piercing, Cop Killers)

Finally, avoid any ammunition that has any of the following words in the name or description:

• Black
• Dark
• Bore
• Talon
• Claw
• Buzzsaw
• Doom
• Buffalo
• NyClad
• Moly-coated
• Teflon
• Pre-Fragmented
• Sintered
• Winchester
• Federal
• RCBD
• Remington
• ACP
• NATO
• Rimmed
• Rimless

Now you can keep the lawyers happy for a while.

Recovery Act Satire

Originally seen at Sipsey Street Irregulars



I think that just about sums it up.

Instant Hitman

This obviously a joke and in very poor taste but I still found it funny.

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day

Mark your calenders. In response to Comedy Central's craven submission to threats aimed at the creators of South Park, Dan Savage at The Stranger has declared May 20 as the first annual "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day".

Other links:
Gate of Vienna
Newser
Reason Online

My poor contribution

What is History?

Is it the same thing over and over again? Or one damned thing after another? Here is a story illustrating both theories:

BOSTON, April 19

- National Guard units seeking to confiscate a cache of recently banned assault weapons were ambushed on April 19th by elements of a para-military extremist faction. Military and law enforcement sources estimated that 72 were killed and more than 20 injured before government forces were compelled to withdraw.

Speaking after the clash, Massachusetts Governor Thomas Gage declared that the extremist faction, which was made up of local citizens, has links to the radical right-wing tax protest movement. Gage blamed the extremists for recent incidents of vandalism directed against internal revenue offices.

The governor, who described the group's organizers as "criminals," issued an executive order authorizing the summary arrest of any individual who has interfered with the government's efforts to secure law and order.

The military raid on the extremist arsenal followed wide-spread refusal by the local citizenry to turn over recently outlawed assault weapons. Gage issued a ban on military-style assault weapons and ammunition earlier in the week. This decision followed a meeting in early April between government and military leaders at which the governor authorized the forcible confiscation of illegal arms. One government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, pointed out that "none of these people would have been killed had the extremists obeyed the law and turned their weapons over voluntarily."

"Government troops initially succeeded in confiscating a large supply of outlawed weapons and ammunition. However, troops attempting to seize arms and ammunition in Lexington met with resistance from heavily-armed extremists who had been tipped off regarding the government's plans.

During a tense standoff in Lexington's town park, National Guard Colonel Francis Smith, commander of the government operation, ordered the armed group to surrender and return to their homes. The impasse was broken by a single shot, which was reportedly fired by one of the right-wing extremists. Eight civilians were killed in the ensuing exchange.

Ironically, the local citizenry blamed government forces rather than the extremists for the civilian deaths. Before order could be restored, armed citizens from surrounding areas had descended upon the guard units. Colonel Smith, finding his forces over-matched by the armed mob, ordered a retreat.

Governor Gage has called upon citizens to support the state/national joint task force in its effort to restore law and order. The governor has also demanded the surrender of those responsible for planning and leading the attack against the government troops. Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, and John Hancock, who have been identified as "ringleaders" of the extremist faction, remain at large.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
-George Santayana 1863-1952

Courtesy of Big Gay Al's Big Gay (Gun) Blog

Fred on Airport Security

On February 17, at Dulles International Airport outside of Washington, DC, a young Nigerian terrorist named Farouk Abdul al Faisal attempted to board United Airlines flight 1497 to Stuttgart, Germany. He had eluded detechtion [sic] by the FBI, and was not on the Terrorist Watch List. He seemed to have succeeded in his aims.

Al Faisal had not counted on an alert TSA employee, as none had been encountered before. TSA agent Michael Trabinney noticed that Faruouk’s cheeks were puffed out strangely. He pulled the young African aside for further screening and discovered in his mouth a condom filled with black powder and a detonator. Trabinney sounded the alarm and Farouk was arrested. The Department of Homeland Security immediately closed the airport for three days, saying that, since the terrorist was in custody and posed no further threat, extreme measures were necessary. Travel snarled around the world as flights were diverted or canceled.

Read the rest

High praise for the ever vigilant employees of the TSA who are working constantly to protect us from the Islamists who hate freedom so much they are ready to die to destroy it.

Jokerbama Artist Unmasked -- Sort of

Obama Joker artist unmasked: A fellow Chicagoan

Bored during his winter school break, Firas Alkhateeb, a senior history major at the University of Illinois, crafted the picture of Obama with the recognizable clown makeup using Adobe's Photoshop software.

Alkhateeb had been tinkering with the program to improve the looks of photos he had taken on his clunky Kodak camera. The Joker project was his grandest undertaking yet. Using a tutorial he'd found online about how to "Jokerize" portraits, he downloaded the October 23 Time Magazine cover of Obama and began digitally painting over it.

Mr. Alkhateeb did a "jokerization" of a digital image of the October 23 Time Magazine cover. The still anonymous creator of the poster that began appearing in Los Angeles about a month qago apparently downloaded that image and removed all the extraneous references before adding the word "Socialism". He remains at large.

The guerrilla uses the tools at hand and adapts them to his purpose. The Jokerbama poster had proven so far to be an effective tool for ridiculing the current administration and that, ladies and gentlemen, is what this about.

Further comment by Mike Vanderbeogh at Sipsey Street Irregulars

Jokerbama Goes Viral

and judging by the Bobots reactions I'd think it was the fictional rage virus.

Here Noel Sheppard points to some very unflattering images of George Bush including the Vanity Fair depiction of Bush as the Joker!

Obama Joker Poster Stirs Outrage, Bush Joker Poster Not So Much

Oops!

Maybe the real problem here is the Bobots are just too thin-skinned to play outside.

Poster in 8 ½ X 11 PDF format
Color PDF
Grayscale PDF

More on the Jokerbama

Obama as The Joker: Racial Fear's Ugly Face


The image of Obama as the Joker with the "socialism" label is undoubtedly a powerful visual statement. I didn't think it would amount to much but it has obviously struck a nerve with the Bobots. I wonder if articles like the one linked above are not just a lure to the unknown artist tempting him to reveal himself. I hope he (or she) resists the temptation to grab fifteen minutes of fame because, more likely, it will be days of misery as the Bobots drag him through whatever mud they can manage to make stick.

Bureaucrashers at work?

Obama 'Joker' Poster Causing a Stir in L.A
Obama Joker Poster Popping Up In Los Angeles
April 25 article from Bedlam Magazine
Photoshopped?

From the first article linked above:

"Depicting the president as demonic and a socialist goes beyond political spoofery," says Hutchinson, "it is mean-spirited and dangerous."

Mean spirited? Maybe.

Dangerous? It's a picture you idiot! Are leftists afraid of pictures now? Can we expect to see demands for registration of art supplies? Background checks for Photoshop? Waiting periods to install the Gimp?

I have no idea who is behind this piece of work and I think it works better that way. However, it does not indicate real trouble for Obama. He is using the momentum of an already entrenched Amsoc to hurry events to their logical conclusion. The image is, I suspect, just an indication that some people know what that conclusion will be. Remember the Joker was an unprincipled, murderous thug.

Bureaucrash Website